Drop
that fear of breathing
let that net around your heart unfurl
Your body is trustworthy, see,
legs pumping to stay afloat.
Move through this blue-green
flowing substance
(God? Time? Love? All of the above -)
pumping through heart
lungs
belly
eyes and ears,
inside and out,
You belong here!
Legs swimming, confidently now,
the steady rhythm of waves
cleanses the mind
smooths the rough edges
and heals your skin
As you surrender
As you begin
Friday, March 28, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Yoga: a quiet revolution
The other day, resting in child's pose after a busy week of meeting deadlines for paperwork, I had a memory of when I first started teaching people to listen to themselves. As a 26-year-old beginners' yoga teacher, I felt quite surprised that women in their 50's looked to me for a certain kind of authority. I took me awhile to figure out what it was - then I realized, they needed me to tell them two things: 1, to relax, or 2, to listen to their inner wisdom. They actually did not know how to do these things, or had forgotten.
It stunned me at the time, because I had never thought of these as valuable skills, or skills at all. But to these women - most of whom worked in higher education or administrative work - Monday night yoga was a precious time when they could "just let everything go". The rest of the time, they were meeting deadlines, fitting in, or simply performing. We all live in a culture where we're supposed to be told what to do - starting in elementary school, and into adulthood. These women viewed me as an authority figure, but I refused to be that. I knew I could teach them more by showing them how to teach themselves, even if that meant they might not need me anymore.
I love this about yoga. That when we do child's pose, we are actually subverting the dominant paradigm - when we put our heads to the earth and listen to our own heartbeat, we are overturning the teacher's authority in exchange for our own. In daily life, this can lead to subversive acts like... smiling at coworkers, breathing deeply at the desk, or no longer stealing paperclips because of a belief in asteya. It can lead to putting one's own well-being and sense of alive-ness over things like work and keeping up appearances - honoring the self as the core of all we do.
Here's to yoga revolution - from the inside out!
It stunned me at the time, because I had never thought of these as valuable skills, or skills at all. But to these women - most of whom worked in higher education or administrative work - Monday night yoga was a precious time when they could "just let everything go". The rest of the time, they were meeting deadlines, fitting in, or simply performing. We all live in a culture where we're supposed to be told what to do - starting in elementary school, and into adulthood. These women viewed me as an authority figure, but I refused to be that. I knew I could teach them more by showing them how to teach themselves, even if that meant they might not need me anymore.
I love this about yoga. That when we do child's pose, we are actually subverting the dominant paradigm - when we put our heads to the earth and listen to our own heartbeat, we are overturning the teacher's authority in exchange for our own. In daily life, this can lead to subversive acts like... smiling at coworkers, breathing deeply at the desk, or no longer stealing paperclips because of a belief in asteya. It can lead to putting one's own well-being and sense of alive-ness over things like work and keeping up appearances - honoring the self as the core of all we do.
Here's to yoga revolution - from the inside out!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Human creativity: what if
Human creativity is suffering from a collective un-groundedness that threatens us as it pushes beyond the limits of our resources. Our self-interested intelligence which has allowed us to control the external conditions and so grow the population, is the same thing that is going to destroy us. This won't be the first time humans have expanded into an advanced civilization, then collapsed. What if we are just part of a series of expansions and contractions of this human experiment? What if whatever guiding force is out there, be it God, or evolution, or life energy, is just running this experiment over and over to see what will happen?
Certainly as a human I want this experiment to be the successful one. We have, obviously, expanded beyond any other variation of humankind that we know. We have reached the moon and we are reaching out to the stars. We can control interior climate and treat cancer. We have a rich body of poetry, music, and artistic expressions that would delight any alien visitor or tourist from beyond. But will our tremendous expansion into new areas of our species creativity be enough to carry us into the future? Is our human experiment... good enough to last? I sure hope so.
In any case, I'm a firm believer that getting grounded is something we can all do for the planet. As we come into our bodies, we come to understand that life is an ecosystem - just as our bodies and souls need to survive, so every living thing does as well. We cannot disconnect from the earth. It is our own place.
Certainly as a human I want this experiment to be the successful one. We have, obviously, expanded beyond any other variation of humankind that we know. We have reached the moon and we are reaching out to the stars. We can control interior climate and treat cancer. We have a rich body of poetry, music, and artistic expressions that would delight any alien visitor or tourist from beyond. But will our tremendous expansion into new areas of our species creativity be enough to carry us into the future? Is our human experiment... good enough to last? I sure hope so.
In any case, I'm a firm believer that getting grounded is something we can all do for the planet. As we come into our bodies, we come to understand that life is an ecosystem - just as our bodies and souls need to survive, so every living thing does as well. We cannot disconnect from the earth. It is our own place.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Yoga and Creativity
When I practice mindful movement, I align with my creativity.
By aligning with the creative force, I heal myself and my world.
When I started doing yoga, I was 24 years old, a
recent college grad waiting tables for a living. With my degree in English, I had trouble finding a better job in my small town. To make matters worse, I was having health issues related to celiac disease (undiagnosed at the time), so my physical and mental energy were at an all-time low. Yoga class was the
first exercise I had ever enjoyed. It combined music
and spirituality with an exercise style that was low-impact, calming, and intuitive. And,
it helped me reconcile my need for a self-created life with the physical limitations of my illness.
As a young adult on the verge of creating a life, I was torn between two extremes: a high level of creativity, and on the other hand, my unconscious belief that
life was hard and there was no room for the creative soul. As my celiac symptoms of fatigue and malnutrition
started to develop, life kept feeling harder. Over the next 8 years,
yoga gently helped me understand, once and for all, that... life is good. That it’s OK to want things,
to create them, and then to feel satisfied. Life was not, as I worried, a struggle with my lower self, as it threatened to
drag me into "dark cravings" for status, pleasure, and materialistic things. No... life was an invitation to tenderly
embrace those needs, thereby arriving at compassion, freedom, and satisfaction. Look, we
live on the most pleasurable planet in our solar system, full of green plants and flowing rivers. It’s not all wonderful, of but it’s certainly OK to focus on the parts of it that are, because in doing so, we find our passion for living.
Yoga has not helped me transcend my lower chakras; rather, it’s helped me meet my lower-chakra needs gracefully. Contrary to myself at 24, inspired but stunted, I now feel empowered to reach for my needs, whether it’s a cuddle with my
lover, an hour with my guitar, or a great job that pays well. And it’s not only self-serving things. My being also craves things like
knowledge, self-respect,
connection, and purpose. As “lower” needs are met, “higher” ones emerge. Yoga
helps me identify them, and simultaneously to realize they are not me. Some degree of healthy detachment is necessary in order to achieve satisfaction in life.
According to chakra theory, the 2nd chakra houses creativity. Its Sanskrit name translates to
“One’s own place”, and it holds our desire, creativity, satisfaction, and pleasure. The 2nd chakra
represents the need to
create a life tailored to our unique organism. Our own place. This place, which
can include our partner, friends, home and career, becomes a
jumping-off point for how we contribute to the world, and for our
spiritual development. All of this relies on the creative force within us.
Because I had such a difficult time claiming this need for
“my own place” in my 20’s, I have a good understanding of the part the 2nd chakra plays in spiritual growth. When I got into yoga, I knew I wanted a spiritual life. But I didn’t understand that having a lifestyle was also important, and in its absence, my spirituality withered. From age 24 to 26, I worked for minimum wage and
lived poor while studying yoga, reiki, and women’s health. While
my friends were establishing their careers, I was distancing myself from the world, and becoming pretty unhappy in the process. After
landing my first salaried job at 28, I allowed myself to explore my long-neglected
interest in fashion, and decorated my home the way I wanted. It was there, in the little brick cottage I rented, that I found “my own place” – amongst
the tigerlilies, wild strawberries, and long afternoons decorating the sun-dappled living room. It was there that I forgot my spirituality, and there I claimed it again, this time with my whole self. I made room for myself as a songwriter, fashionista, chocolate addict, and eventually, a wife to my husband. None of this made me any less interested in spiritual practice. As I fulfilled these yearnings, I felt free, alive, and satisfied.
Yoga also helped me stabilize my health. In a way, the body is also “one's own place”, since it is formed by the creative energy of prana. Yoga postures are designed to harmonize the energy body, which helps physical health as well. For me, this could not happen without mindfulness. Through realizing that my body is not me, I've awakened to my body as a creature: a needy creature, but still lovable! This makes me more willing to relax into my prana, bringing health and energy.
In Western culture, our relationship to the life force isn't ideal. We seem bent on taking in as much as we
can in terms of material goods, calories, and stimulation, while neglecting the need to care for bodies. While healthcare
professionals try to educate us about healthy habits, we struggle to maintain a desire to be healthy, constantly "falling off the wagon". I think this could all be rooted in our unhealthy attachment to the material world. Our obsession with the physical, external aspects of ourselves keeps our core insecurity at bay, but prevents us from really enjoying life. Yoga, like any mindful practice, helps us become aware of ourselves as creators. In the stillness that follows mindful movement, we find our being, which is a fountain of inner satisfaction. Then we can begin to create boldly. We can begin to consider,
not how we can ask more of the world, but what can we give? What do we want to see on this big canvas?
~
This piece relies on ideas from Joseph LePage in the Integrative Yoga Therapy (2004) Teacher Training Manual.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Healthy Activities for the Heart Chakra
I've been wanting to post some of the chakra healing tips I compiled for Chakra Yoga last year. And since it happens to be Valentine's Day, I thought I'd focus on the heart!
When I teach Chakra Yoga classes, I always have fun with this one because the heart is just a huge part of our daily existence, and plays an important role in the chakra system as well.. Basically, it's the connection between the lower chakras and the upper chakras, the place where self-interest meets the more transcendent aspects of equanimity, compassion, insight, vision, and one-ness. Until the lower chakra's needs are met, it is difficult to open the heart. But when the heart is open, it feeds the entire system.
- Backbends! Oooh yeah, a little Camel, or Reclining Butterfly, and you'll be bathing in heart prana.
- Triangle Pose - although it engages the whole body, Triangle relies on having an open chest, and gives you the feeling of radiating outward from your heart. If you feel like taking your stability up to the next level, float on up to balancing Half Moon, with the shoulders relaxed.
- Selfless giving to others.
- Receiving without guilt
- Honest communication
- Delicious food, candles and soft music relax the brain, opening you up for connection.
- Self-appreciation. Thank yourself for something you've done today.
- Express appreciation to loved ones; skip the complaints.
- Spices: cinnamon
- Essential oils: Rose, jasmine.
- Metta meditation or gratitude practice.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Bessel van der Kolk is my hero - and yoga is my medicine
For all my therapy geek friends (you know who you are): have you heard of Bessel van der Kolk, a Dutch psychiatrist who's doing research on things like yoga and EMDR? If not, go look him up. You won't be disappointed.
I spend 8 hours on Tuesday with Dr. van der Kolk in a live webcast from Hawaii. The topic was "Trauma, Attachment and Neuroscience." Sounds interesting, huh? Basically, the seminar delved into how trauma re-wires the brain and the way we relate to the world. It's not so much that trauma leaves an imprint of a certain memory in our minds; rather, it makes us less able to live happily in the present. It does this by changing our brain: everything from the brain stem (breathing, sleeping, eating), to the thalamus (interpretations of the body), amygdala (emotional arousal and motivation), and frontal cortex (thinking). Dr. van der Kolk explained that trauma treatment must ALWAYS address the body, because the lower brain and limbic system are ALWAYS affected. Too often, "Western European" therapies focuses only on the frontal cortex (ahem, "cognitive therapy"), and ignore the body. (Dr. van der Kolk made no effort to conceal his frustration that body therapies are not acknowledged for their mental health benefits.)
Dr. van der Kolk conducts research at the Trauma Center at JRI in Massachusetts. He's gotten good results wth using yoga, EMDR, and other body-based therapies, because these treatments teach people how to self-regulate, and promote integration of the upper and lower brain. He also recommends drama therapy, t'ai chi, drum circles, and anything that involves a rhythmic interaction between people. One of my favorite clips was of a 10-year-old boy who was throwing a ball around with an occupational therapist. His mother arrived, and started chatting about her own problems. The boy threw her the ball; she caught it, threw it back, but COMPLETELY missed the boy. This happened 3 or 4 times; each time she threw the ball to the same place, and each time it missed the boy's waiting arms. Suddenly he yelled, "STOP THROWING IT OVER THERE!" As the OT helped the mother and boy play catch with each other, Dr. van der Kolk explained how being "in tune" with people is one of the most basic joys of life, since we are hardwired for social interaction. This demonstration showed how a simple activity like playing catch could make a family feel cohesive again. Just imagine how doing yoga, dance, or making music together can help you feel more "in sync" with humanity!
Among other things, this seminar powerfully confirmed the effect of yoga on the brain. Since I re-started my daily yoga practice (only 4 weeks ago), I've noticed changes in how I perceive things. The other day I was napping on the couch, and suddenly I felt viscerally connected to the colors and shapes around me; I was transported back to a summer's day when I was very young, and the green grass and the taste of lemonade were fresh and new to my senses. I find it easier to relax, even when I don't feel well. I went to a meeting at my church, and noticed I was able to take in every detail of the conversation effortlessly. The next day, the committee chair asked me to proofread the minutes; I thought, wow, that's never happened! And last but not least, I laugh more. Something about yoga is helping me connect with my environment. I'm just waiting to see how this body-centered, mindfulness practice will continue to transform the way I live, breathe, and think. Do you have a story about how mindfulness practice has changed your life?
I spend 8 hours on Tuesday with Dr. van der Kolk in a live webcast from Hawaii. The topic was "Trauma, Attachment and Neuroscience." Sounds interesting, huh? Basically, the seminar delved into how trauma re-wires the brain and the way we relate to the world. It's not so much that trauma leaves an imprint of a certain memory in our minds; rather, it makes us less able to live happily in the present. It does this by changing our brain: everything from the brain stem (breathing, sleeping, eating), to the thalamus (interpretations of the body), amygdala (emotional arousal and motivation), and frontal cortex (thinking). Dr. van der Kolk explained that trauma treatment must ALWAYS address the body, because the lower brain and limbic system are ALWAYS affected. Too often, "Western European" therapies focuses only on the frontal cortex (ahem, "cognitive therapy"), and ignore the body. (Dr. van der Kolk made no effort to conceal his frustration that body therapies are not acknowledged for their mental health benefits.)
Dr. van der Kolk conducts research at the Trauma Center at JRI in Massachusetts. He's gotten good results wth using yoga, EMDR, and other body-based therapies, because these treatments teach people how to self-regulate, and promote integration of the upper and lower brain. He also recommends drama therapy, t'ai chi, drum circles, and anything that involves a rhythmic interaction between people. One of my favorite clips was of a 10-year-old boy who was throwing a ball around with an occupational therapist. His mother arrived, and started chatting about her own problems. The boy threw her the ball; she caught it, threw it back, but COMPLETELY missed the boy. This happened 3 or 4 times; each time she threw the ball to the same place, and each time it missed the boy's waiting arms. Suddenly he yelled, "STOP THROWING IT OVER THERE!" As the OT helped the mother and boy play catch with each other, Dr. van der Kolk explained how being "in tune" with people is one of the most basic joys of life, since we are hardwired for social interaction. This demonstration showed how a simple activity like playing catch could make a family feel cohesive again. Just imagine how doing yoga, dance, or making music together can help you feel more "in sync" with humanity!
Among other things, this seminar powerfully confirmed the effect of yoga on the brain. Since I re-started my daily yoga practice (only 4 weeks ago), I've noticed changes in how I perceive things. The other day I was napping on the couch, and suddenly I felt viscerally connected to the colors and shapes around me; I was transported back to a summer's day when I was very young, and the green grass and the taste of lemonade were fresh and new to my senses. I find it easier to relax, even when I don't feel well. I went to a meeting at my church, and noticed I was able to take in every detail of the conversation effortlessly. The next day, the committee chair asked me to proofread the minutes; I thought, wow, that's never happened! And last but not least, I laugh more. Something about yoga is helping me connect with my environment. I'm just waiting to see how this body-centered, mindfulness practice will continue to transform the way I live, breathe, and think. Do you have a story about how mindfulness practice has changed your life?
Friday, February 7, 2014
Reasons to avoid yoga today
1) I'd rather eat chocolate and watch The Princess Bride (/insert favorite movie_____) for the 1000th time.
2) I don't want to transcend my feelings, or undergo brain re-writes. I just wanna be.
3) My body hurts, and I don't feel like dealing with that, so I'm gonna lay around instead.
4) I don't feel like thinking about my alignment or core stability today. Maybe I'll dance instead.
5) I found this really good book (relationship/hobby/pursuit). I'ma do that instead.
I've been doing yoga for 10 years, and discipline has been my #1 obstacle. In fact, I'm sure I have more reasons not to, than reasons to do yoga. The reasons are simple: clarity, peace, strength, compassion. If you want these, do yoga. But there are a million reasons why you might not want these, not today, not right now. Your brain is capable of infinite excuses, oh yes, quite capable.
But are they excuses? Is it really "bad" to not do yoga every single day? It's a tricky question. In the last 4 weeks, I've done yoga every single day. It's not the first time I've had a disciplined streak, and I can't say how long it'll last. Growth happens in cycles, not lines, after all. Although I'm reaping the mental and physical benefits of my practice now, I think in some way the undisciplined times are important too.
When I think about change from the brain's perspective - the webs of neural synapses, the interaction between the amygdala and the cortex, all these biological aspects of self - I think, wow, of course it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and I also wonder which levels of my brain are talking to each other, how. For example, does my amygdala somehow say, "hey, smarty-pants, slow down, I've got stuff to process up in here"? When we "release emotions", it is important to respect that they don't always get processed on same-day express. Sometimes a break is needed, lest you become so sick of it that you give up entirely. If facing the mat, or meditation, or whatever you practice, seems like an insurmountable feat, try following your instincts. Maybe craving chocolate is your brain's way of pacing your race toward change. Maybe there is no "right" pace.
2) I don't want to transcend my feelings, or undergo brain re-writes. I just wanna be.
3) My body hurts, and I don't feel like dealing with that, so I'm gonna lay around instead.
4) I don't feel like thinking about my alignment or core stability today. Maybe I'll dance instead.
5) I found this really good book (relationship/hobby/pursuit). I'ma do that instead.
I've been doing yoga for 10 years, and discipline has been my #1 obstacle. In fact, I'm sure I have more reasons not to, than reasons to do yoga. The reasons are simple: clarity, peace, strength, compassion. If you want these, do yoga. But there are a million reasons why you might not want these, not today, not right now. Your brain is capable of infinite excuses, oh yes, quite capable.
But are they excuses? Is it really "bad" to not do yoga every single day? It's a tricky question. In the last 4 weeks, I've done yoga every single day. It's not the first time I've had a disciplined streak, and I can't say how long it'll last. Growth happens in cycles, not lines, after all. Although I'm reaping the mental and physical benefits of my practice now, I think in some way the undisciplined times are important too.
When I think about change from the brain's perspective - the webs of neural synapses, the interaction between the amygdala and the cortex, all these biological aspects of self - I think, wow, of course it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and I also wonder which levels of my brain are talking to each other, how. For example, does my amygdala somehow say, "hey, smarty-pants, slow down, I've got stuff to process up in here"? When we "release emotions", it is important to respect that they don't always get processed on same-day express. Sometimes a break is needed, lest you become so sick of it that you give up entirely. If facing the mat, or meditation, or whatever you practice, seems like an insurmountable feat, try following your instincts. Maybe craving chocolate is your brain's way of pacing your race toward change. Maybe there is no "right" pace.
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