From the perspective of Western religion in which many of us were raised, it can be hard to understand the second chakra without cultural baggage getting in the way. The second chakra, one of 7 holistic energy centers which rests in the low abdomen, is (unsurprisingly) related to sexuality. But it's also related to all things watery and flowing, such as emotions, pleasure, and our ability to respond fully to the emotional and physical abundance in which we live. In other words, this chakra is all about pleasure, satisfaction, and feeling like we deserve to experience all that is good in life.
The Christian religion doesn't have a clear message about this. I've been to some churches where people were dancing in the aisles and hugs were given freely, but there's also that stereotype of the stiff church where "looking good" is more important than truly belonging and accepting others, despite the messages of Jesus. And where, as we know from the movie "Footloose", dancing and showing off the body are considered to be a threat to our immortal soul. As a very sensual and beauty-oriented young teen raised in a Protestant church, I never felt that I could fully explore my spirituality there.
It was my craving for a spirituality that encompassed the sensual world which brought me to yoga. Since Westernized yoga is pretty widely recognized as being more Tantric than Vedic, I won't try to speak for the Vedic philosophy that is the 5,000-year-old root of real yoga. But what we have today, is a Westernized hatha yoga that makes a ton of space for sensual explorations of the body. Yoga studios offer a place for people to move in ways that are receptive to the body, rather than dominating it like traditional fitness does, and this allows us to experience sensuality in a way that's safe and conscious, and usually accompanied by good tunes.
Although it can be said that this "feel-good yoga" distracts from the real goal of spirituality, and that can certainly be true, I also think it can heal the wounds of the 2nd chakra, which, in my opinion, run deep and wide in our culture. One only has to look at the high rates of addiction to substances, pornography/ dysfunctional sex, sexual frigidity, and body image problems to see that there is a problem here, and it runs right through our collective second chakra. But understanding this chakra can help us heal.
How? Well, by balancing the second chakra, we can reach a balance between compulsive pleasure and total denial of the body that is experienced by, let's say, chronic dieters, or any of us who strive to eat, shop, and live ethically. By balancing the 2nd chakra we allow ourselves to feel more deeply, both physically and emotionally, and this lets us find satisfaction more easily in life. By reclaiming the right to pleasure, we shed so many things: our guilt and shame for our desires which we all have; the need to compulsively consume food, sex, or material wealth; and the fear of feeling our vulnerable need for belonging and intimacy, which we all have. Healing the second chakra allows us to fully embrace our vulnerability, as interdependent beings who crave touch, pleasure, and the good things in life. Instead of becoming stuck in the pursuit of pleasure, we can free ourselves to feel, experience, and finally to transcend.
Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts
Friday, May 2, 2014
Monday, March 31, 2014
Love Hormones: why find out why?
Recently I learned that when we fall in love, certain chemicals are released in the brain. You know that feeling you get when you meet somebody, feel elated when you see them, and think about them for days afterward? That's dopamine pumping up your reward circuits in the brain, making you want more. Oh yeah, and the feeling you get after the first date, then the second date, and the first time you sleep together: that feeling that you can do anything? More brain chemistry. Then after the first few months, when you start to get more interested in cuddling, declare your commitment to the person, and feel love growing in your heart? That's oxytocin, priming you to take the time-tested step of creating a lasting partnership.
This made a big impression on me, and I've wanted to write about, but wasn't sure what to say. It meant a lot to me because in my teens and 20's, I was addicted to love - not in the sense of going to extremes, but definitely in the sense that without the intrigue of a romantic relationship, I felt restless and bored. I now know that I was craving the hormone dopamine, which gave me a boost of concentration and energy whenever I met someone I liked. You see, without a love interest, life was... dull. (Fortunately, I've discovered that mindfulness practice makes my experience of life more shiny and energetic than it ever was, without the aid of romantic supplementation!)
So, yes, that's one angle from which to write about this. But for now, I'm with the question: why does it matter? I find it very interesting how we jump on scientific research about things that we already know intuitively. This applies for mindfulness and yoga, as well as love. We know it makes us happy, so does it really matter why?
The knowledge of how/why love makes us feel the way it does can be used for different purposes. For example, you could use it to make another person fall in love with you. Since we're all operating on a common set of hormones, which are triggered by the same things, it's entirely possible. Likewise, you can use it to manipulate yourself. For example, many articles suggest using this knowledge to "spice up" a long-term relationship with dopamine-enhancing activities, like exciting travel, eroticism, or new sex techniques. In essence, we can make ourselves "fall in love" all over again, with the same partner. This last suggestion, although it sounds good (and it is effective), makes me a little uncomfortable. After all, why is one form of emotional manipulation different from any other? We're still manipulating our hormones, and that seems a little strange to me.
But this is the era we live in. As we come to know more about the brain, we'll continue manipulating our emotional responses with that knowledge. To me, this is both exciting and frightening, since it represents tremendous power for personal growth, but also the temptation to control our experience, becoming even more removed from our raw reactions to life. After all, if you can make yourself fall in love with a good man, you can also make yourself fall in love with an abusive partner, or someone who isn't good for you. There is truth in our raw experience of life, and a time when those instincts should be honored. Similarly, it's possible that knowing too much about love chemistry could simply take the fun out of it! Perhaps the key lies in finding a balance between the two. There is power in self-knowledge, as it helps us make adjustments needed to get the most out of life. But there's also power in mindfully letting life (love) happen, and letting ourselves be part of it, feeling and responding to life (love) as we were born to do.
This made a big impression on me, and I've wanted to write about, but wasn't sure what to say. It meant a lot to me because in my teens and 20's, I was addicted to love - not in the sense of going to extremes, but definitely in the sense that without the intrigue of a romantic relationship, I felt restless and bored. I now know that I was craving the hormone dopamine, which gave me a boost of concentration and energy whenever I met someone I liked. You see, without a love interest, life was... dull. (Fortunately, I've discovered that mindfulness practice makes my experience of life more shiny and energetic than it ever was, without the aid of romantic supplementation!)
So, yes, that's one angle from which to write about this. But for now, I'm with the question: why does it matter? I find it very interesting how we jump on scientific research about things that we already know intuitively. This applies for mindfulness and yoga, as well as love. We know it makes us happy, so does it really matter why?
The knowledge of how/why love makes us feel the way it does can be used for different purposes. For example, you could use it to make another person fall in love with you. Since we're all operating on a common set of hormones, which are triggered by the same things, it's entirely possible. Likewise, you can use it to manipulate yourself. For example, many articles suggest using this knowledge to "spice up" a long-term relationship with dopamine-enhancing activities, like exciting travel, eroticism, or new sex techniques. In essence, we can make ourselves "fall in love" all over again, with the same partner. This last suggestion, although it sounds good (and it is effective), makes me a little uncomfortable. After all, why is one form of emotional manipulation different from any other? We're still manipulating our hormones, and that seems a little strange to me.
But this is the era we live in. As we come to know more about the brain, we'll continue manipulating our emotional responses with that knowledge. To me, this is both exciting and frightening, since it represents tremendous power for personal growth, but also the temptation to control our experience, becoming even more removed from our raw reactions to life. After all, if you can make yourself fall in love with a good man, you can also make yourself fall in love with an abusive partner, or someone who isn't good for you. There is truth in our raw experience of life, and a time when those instincts should be honored. Similarly, it's possible that knowing too much about love chemistry could simply take the fun out of it! Perhaps the key lies in finding a balance between the two. There is power in self-knowledge, as it helps us make adjustments needed to get the most out of life. But there's also power in mindfully letting life (love) happen, and letting ourselves be part of it, feeling and responding to life (love) as we were born to do.
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