Chakra yoga: a mindful practice

If you know anything about chakras, you know how intriguing they are as tools for personal growth and change. These amazing energy centers are like little buttons you can press in order to make yourself feel a certain way, or un-make/release unpleasant feelings. Admit it - isn't there some part of you that thinks, when taking the chakra test or reading a great book about them, "maybe this is the way my problems will be solved"? 

I certainly felt that way about chakras when I first discovered them 10 years ago at a yoga training. At 24, I leaned slightly - OK, maybe excessively - toward things that I could quantify, things that helped me intellectually understand life. However, I hadn't yet discocvered the uncanny power of being present and just allowing things to be. And of course, this is really what yoga is all about.

Chakras aren't just buttons to press; tempting as it would be, especially as a yoga teaher, to market them as such. I could go there, and believe me, people have - with their bright colors and (seemingly) distinct psychological and physical traits, it's easy to present chakras as a way to systematically unravel all one's physical and emotional knots, whether it be through a special workshop, class, or one-on-one healing technique. Or, I suppose, through yoga poses. And, since I happen to be preparing to delve into a series of posts on yoga poses for the chakras, I guess it's time to get clear! Yes, I suppose it is.


When working with chakras, mindfulness and allowing are just as important as when stretching muscles. But working with chakras is a little more intellectual than stretching muscles. If you know enough about chakras to want to practice chakra yoga, you invariably know the aspects of each chakra such as colors, elements (earth, water, etc) emotions, and affirmations. With that knowledge, you begin to know exactly what you'd like to achieve when working with a specific chakra. But even with that knowledge, it's important to maintain an attitude of openness, especially when working with chakras that are closed down.

Next time you're working with a chakra, I want you to try something. First, calm your mind. You can do this through a regular asana practice. Or try this: Breathe deeply into your heart for several minutes and allow your thoughts to flow from your head into the peace of your heart. When you get the sense that your heart is energized, send some of that energy to the area that feels blocked. This should be more of a felt experience, like moving a muscle. Distracting thoughts usually indicate that you are unconsciously backing away from a feeling or sensation. See if you can be open to whatever is there. Similar to stretching, do this to your level of tolerance, which could be as little as 10 seconds, up to a few minutes. You'll know it's time to come out by one of two signals: either the feeling dissipates, or it transforms. Also, if you feel overwhelmed, it's OK to stop and maybe try again later. Thank your body and take a restful pose.

Moved to Wordpress... but still posting here

Just wanted to let anybody who's reading know that I've transplanted my blog to wordpress at: http://andreabussinger.wordpress.com.


The wordpress blog may have slightly different content, as it's designed as a way for therapy/yoga clients to find me. The posts may be a little more well-edited. And, if you're on wordpress more often, you may find it convenient. But otherwise, you won't get much new, since I still plan on staying with blogger as a home base where I'll draft, refine and publish things for the first time. I'll also have more poetry and personal stories to share here.

If you ever feel like referring a client to me, please give them the wordpress site, or of course my email address: andreabussingerpcc@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading!

An attitude of willingness

Yoga, when practiced with an attitude of willingness, is bound to take you to places you have never been before.

But all sorts of things can get in the way of being willing, really willing to be changed, in yoga.

We think we want health, beauty, balance, self-realization, or whatever yoga has that we lack. But in focusing on wanting these, we are sometimes fighting against the lack of them. For me, this took the form of unconsciously believing the world was a shitty place. Yoga became both a refuge, and a way for me to somehow transcend or be separate from the world. This led to even more suffering, as the real power of yoga couldn't be accessed, and I still felt separate.


I stated attending yoga with an attitude of willingness when I was stressed out of my mind by working full-time at a women's shelter, and commuting 1 hour each way to the job. For a person with special dietary needs and poor stress tolerance, this wasn't a good combination. So, I turned to my only real resource: taking yoga from a fellow teacher at the studio where I taught. She taught the class before mine from 6-7pm, so it was easy, and I really had no reason not to try.

In her class, I discovered a much deeper level of calm in myself than I had ever experienced. And though she's a good teacher, I don't think that was the main factor. I think it was because I was ready. I was so deep into a hole of my own making, that I would use every bit of my strength to grab the rope that she was throwing down - a rope that consisted of physical strengthening, deep breathing, humor, and inspiring music - just the right combination to give me the confident energy and emotional balance I needed to get through that time. Those 6 months of regular practice left an indelible mark on me, as I was finally able to explore territory beyond my own ideas of a "proper" yoga class; I had a fuller appreciation of my body, a sense of unity with my fellow students, and a thirst to explore more unknown territory. It occurred ot me that the edge of the unknown is really where I most want to be.

Practicing with an attitude of willingness means taking responsibility for your own spiritual path; your focus isn't on what someone else can bestow on you, but on what you're willing to learn. It also means that you have to give up any pre-concieved ideas about "right ways" or "wrong ways". You have to be willing to really feel every option, really breathe into each approach, and go with the one that can teach you the most.

Practicing with an attitude of willingness is being willing to admit all that you don't know; over, and over, and over again. It also means being willing to admit when you do know something, such as a value you hold dear, or a sudden awareness that you need to leave something toxic behind. It means being open to all the signs along your path, whether they're in the language of the mind, body, or heart. All of these languages are valid, and yet none are your final destination. They're just markers along the way.

The Yoga of Psychological Limits

I’ve been thinking about limits lately. When we stretch in yoga, we feel our physical limits. When we attempt to grow and change our brains, we feel our psychological limits, and this can feel frustrating, but also inspiring. And finally, when we interact with others, we must decide how to approach their limits, as well as our own.

Limits in interpersonal relationships often take the form of boundaries, such as one’s boundaries around being touched, or flirted with, or topics that they wish not to discuss. Some people who have been abused may have triggers around things like sudden gestures or loud words, and these become boundaries when we ask others not to do those things near us. We all know it is polite to honor other people’s boundaries. Yet some of us, particularly those with an awareness of the potential for growth (and perhaps, a need to see this growth in others), find it difficult to refrain from challenging and testing others’ limits.
The purpose of a relationship (be it romantic, therapeutic, or friendship) is twofold: to support, and to challenge. Some people outright ask for challenge; they say, “if you see me doing such and such, I want you to TELL ME and I’ll fix it.” But there are others who ask for support by not being challenged; in other words, by respecting their limits. This can come by way of their avoidance of challenging topics, preference for light-hearted conversations, or cringing or even snapping back in response to challenge. Though it would be easy to tell ourselves that this person has “issues”, especially if we feel rejected by their response, we can also choose to cultivate respect around their limits. We never know what kind of pain this brings up for them. And while it is true that diving into pain can bring healing, it is also true that overwhelming ourselves with pain can cause our minds to ricochet back into self-protection, which is not an easy stance from which to grow.
When we honor our own limits in yoga, we give our muscles the chance to experience the delicate tension between shortening and lengthening. Eventually they will decide which way they want to go that day. It’s that simple; we have not much control over it. But eventually we hope our muscles will open, and usually they do. It’s the same with honoring the boundaries and limits of those we care about. Deep down, perhaps several layers down, everyone has a need to grow and expand. By honoring their limits, we give them the opportunity to choose when growth is right for them, just the way we do for our muscles in yoga. In this way we trust the part of them that seeks growth and expansion, whether or not we are fully ready to believe it is there. We are also willing to trust that person’s wisdom about what just isn’t right for them. Focusing on our own growth is, of course, helpful in this regard. Through honoring limits in yoga and life, we have an opportunity to develop compassion for others’ struggles, and our own.

How Mindful Relationships Change your Brain (no, really)

So I must be somewhat of a left-brained person, because whenever I learn a cool fact about neurobiology, it excites me like nothing else. So it was, in was reading The Mindful Therapist (2010) by Dan Siegel, leading expert in interpersonal neurobiology, that I came across his idea that certain types of social interaction have the power to transform our brains.

In the book, Siegel says that interacting with another person in a mindful state, such as counseling, can fast-track the growth of new neural pathways in the brain. From the counseling perspective, this is good news, since it means that engaging in a relationship with a non-judgmental, mindful therapist boosts your potential for brain change, or neuroplasticity, which we now know occurs throughout the life span. This means that whatever process of change you're working on, having a mindful therapist can be a big help. I can only imagine this would apply to a mindful yoga teacher or spiritual guide, as well.

I also like to think about the big-picture perspective - does this apply to all relationships? For the last 10 years, I've surrounded myself with healthy people, hoping this would support me in developing health and well-being in my own life. But I never thought that interacting with my friends in a mindful way - such as through highly attentive conversations, playing music or dancing together - could actually change the structure of my brain. Since reading The Mindful Therapist, I've paid attention to how I feel after socializing with people. And sure enough, people with active mindfulness practices tend to leave me feeling more energized, compassionate, and confident, which supports my personal growth goals. And as it turns out, Siegel has something to say about this.

"Integrative communication in a relationship stimulates the growth of integrative fibers in the brain. You're going to say, That's too weird -- how would a relationship shape the brain and why would it be that simple? Well, what they share in common is energy and information flow. So a relationship can be defined as the sharing of energy and information flow. And when we understand how that energy and information flow is happening -- it could be with words, with the body, with an attitude -- we can feel it, and we feel it with each other. It's not some weird unknown thing. It's fantastic and it's real. Energy is absolutely a part of this world, and energy can be shared between us."-cited in Huffington Post.

According to Siegel, having a mindfulness practice allows us to become more attentive to others. It also allows us to be more open to receiving mindful attention from other people, which we all need. When I look back on the groups of "healthy people" to which I've belonged, sure enough, they are mostly people who do yoga, meditate, or have an active spiritual or self-care routine. And I have witnessed tremendous acts of friendship and personal transformation within these communities. 

I envision a future where we're more aware of this capacity to transform each other at the cellular level. Forgive me if I'm getting a little "woo-woo" here. But it has really stunned me, the extent to which I feel more comfortable in my skin after a group yoga class, or playing music with a friend. And I can think of no better explanation than Dan Siegel's theory of interpersonal neurobiology. Siegel also defines the mind as: "a... process that regulates the flow of energy and information." While new-agey people tend to say we are all connected through Love, I like to borrow Siegel's concept here and think of us being connected through "energy and information" flow. Because in terms of the brain, knowing that you are loved is just a piece of information carried on a wire. And that's exciting to me, because wires can be repaired, and mindful relationship is one way to do that.

Healing the second chakra

From the perspective of Western religion in which many of us were raised, it can be hard to understand the second chakra without cultural baggage getting in the way.  The second chakra, one of 7 holistic energy centers which rests in the low abdomen, is (unsurprisingly) related to sexuality. But it's also related to all things watery and flowing, such as emotions, pleasure, and our ability to respond fully to the emotional and physical abundance in which we live. In other words, this chakra is all about pleasure, satisfaction, and feeling like we deserve to experience all that is good in life.

The Christian religion doesn't have a clear message about this. I've been to some churches where people were dancing in the aisles and hugs were given freely, but there's also that stereotype of the stiff church where "looking good" is more important than truly belonging and accepting others, despite the messages of Jesus. And where, as we know from the movie "Footloose", dancing and showing off the body are considered to be a threat to our immortal soul. As a very sensual and beauty-oriented young teen raised in a Protestant church, I never felt that I could fully explore my spirituality there.

It was my craving for a spirituality that encompassed the sensual world which brought me to yoga. Since Westernized yoga is pretty widely recognized as being more Tantric than Vedic, I won't try to speak for the Vedic philosophy that is the 5,000-year-old root of real yoga. But what we have today, is a Westernized hatha yoga that makes a ton of space for sensual explorations of the body. Yoga studios offer a place for people to move in ways that are receptive to the body, rather than dominating it like traditional fitness does, and this allows us to experience sensuality in a way that's safe and conscious, and usually accompanied by good tunes.

Although it can be said that this "feel-good yoga" distracts from the real goal of spirituality, and that can certainly be true, I also think it can heal the wounds of the 2nd chakra, which, in my opinion, run deep and wide in our culture. One only has to look at the high rates of addiction to substances, pornography/ dysfunctional sex, sexual frigidity, and body image problems to see that there is a problem here, and it runs right through our collective second chakra. But understanding this chakra can help us heal.

How? Well, by balancing the second chakra, we can reach a balance between compulsive pleasure and total denial of the body that is experienced by, let's say, chronic dieters, or any of us who strive to eat, shop, and live ethically. By balancing the 2nd chakra we allow ourselves to feel more deeply, both physically and emotionally, and this lets us find satisfaction more easily in life. By reclaiming the right to pleasure, we shed so many things: our guilt and shame for our desires which we all have; the need to compulsively consume food, sex, or material wealth; and the fear of feeling our vulnerable need for belonging and intimacy, which we all have. Healing the second chakra allows us to fully embrace our vulnerability, as interdependent beings who crave touch, pleasure, and the good things in life. Instead of becoming stuck in the pursuit of pleasure, we can free ourselves to feel, experience, and finally to transcend.

Being present... for the fun of it

We often forget to use our minds as allies. I find this odd considering just how thrilling it can be to harness our minds through mindfulness, meditation, and affirmations/positive thoughts. Whatever the reason, it has been surprising for me to see that mindfulness actually helps me enjoy life more, and create more positivity out of everyday life.

As a counselor in a community mental health setting, I noticed that most of my clients approached meditation as a serious task, almost as if it were a school assignment that they could pass or fail. I'd be willing to venture that many of us find it difficult to grasp the concept of meditation, feeling stuck inside this "pass" and "fail" mentality which is, after all, our most familiar M.O.. But the concept of meditation is that you neither pass nor fail; it's a practice of letting go of the whole construct of evaluating ourselves and others. For some, it's stepping into mental territory that they've never visited.

However, many of my clients were familiar with something I'd call accidental mindfulness - the kind of non-judgmental trance you get into when you're zoning out to the TV (or X-box), or cruising around a back country road with the windows down. Without any special training, they often created experiences that brought them into a state of non-judgmental relaxation, refreshing their minds and souls. Of course, there are also self-destructive ways of relaxing, like substance abuse, which more fully check you out of yourself. But many of us do have one or two activities we can use as a refuge, allowing us to relax the mind and integrate/process the things that are troubling us.

The cool part about mindfulness, in this respect, is that it broadens your ability to drop into accidental mindfulness in more situations. You may start out only being able to relax in front of a certain Rom-Com you enjoy, or playing a video game, and soon find yourself taking refuge in the painting on your doctor's waiting room wall, the sunset in rush-hour traffic, or your own breath as you deal with stress at work. (You may even find yourself being able to focus on the positive in others, instead of the things that trigger you!) You may find yourself enjoying a much broader range of things, since pleasure is one of the many feelings that mindfulness practice allows you to embrace.

Self-care and the importance of soothing

Therapy is not always the grueling process of deep self-excavation it’s portrayed to be in pop culture. Although it’s sometimes necessary to “excavate” ourselves – to dive through layers of the mind, childhood and all that – it’s equally necessary to know how to self-soothe and create positive experiences in our lives. And though this necessitates challenging our negative thought patterns and habits, it also be cultivated by acts of self-care that create positive experiences in our lives.

Self-care can include anything from having a bubble bath to hanging out with a friend, or even yoga and meditation. It really doesn’t matter what form it takes, as long as it feels relaxing. Engaging in something soothing on a daily basis can go a long way toward lowering your level of anxiety (which is often just another habit), because you’re taking a proactive step to stop thinking about your troubles, and start focusing on what you can do to improve your situation. It creates a new neural pattern in your brain that should allow you to relax more quickly, consider your own needs, and feel less pressured to over-work or over-stimulate yourself.

The habits of “busy-ness” often buffer us from our true emotional experience. Taking time for self-soothing may induce a vague sense of apprehension since doing so could potentially blow the lid off of any feelings you’ve been bottling up. Also, many of us simply haven’t been taught how to care for ourselves when this happens, instead reaching for distractions. If this is your fear, keep in mind that self-care need not be an intensely deep experience. Try watching movies, listening to dance music, reading a good book at a cafe, and then gradually move into more reflective activities if you feel up to it. It’s good to have a big toolbox of self-care tools, using the ones that feel right in each situation. Mental health is a journey of balancing the “excavation” of awareness with a nice deep breath of life. Because life, after all, is good.

Feeling Stuck? Mindfulness can help.

Do you ever feel like there's one aspect of your life that you keep getting stuck on? Maybe something in your marriage or relationship, your physical self-confidence, ability to receive, or a work issue like perfectionism? Something that influences you perhaps in just one sphere, or perhaps in many, but regardless, has that sense like, "if only I could resolve this, life would be so much better!"

In my own journey with mindfulness and yoga, I've found that even these core issues I'd come to take for granted can be altered. I informally call this integration, because I believe, like many other mental health people, that healing involves bringing to light aspects of ourselves that are broken, orphaned and abandoned, and re-uniting them with the more nurturing side of ourselves. (I also borrow the term integration from Daniel J. Siegel's book The Mindful Therapist (2010). According to Siegel, engaging with a mindful therapist, and/or having a mindfulness practice of your own, can help integrate neural synapses in the brain, helping with brain functioning and mental health.

The fact that parts of your life feel stuck, could mean that your brain is stuck - there may be aspects of your brain that function separately when they should function together. Research is beginning to show that mindfulness can help to integrate the disparate parts of the brain. This is another level at which emotional transformation is a process of brain change, and we can begin it anytime.

For me, this inspires yet more respect for the process of personal growth. When I think about my own and others' growth, I feel excited, in awe, and patient, trusting that the process has its own hidden timing. We are trained to think that it's possible to transform ourselves by sheer mental effort. But in reality, transformation belongs to the body, of which the brain is decidedly a part. The brain functions together with the entire nervous system, which controls your gut reactions to everything from stress to caffeine to sex.

Research is beginning to stand by that belief, long-held by many, that the brain can be changed by mindfulness. By training ourselves to notice things without reacting, we can learn to live from a less reactive, more responsive, and open-minded place. Mindfulness is a powerful tool. It may just help you move that mountain that's been in your way.

How to use Triggers as Growth Experiences

I wanted to respond to this meme I saw on facebook: "We will continue to be tested until we are no longer triggered".

It certainly seems true; as we become aware of our triggers, we start to notice how they manifest repeatedly, almost like we're being tested. This helps us make sense of why the triggers continue to happen, and implies a sense of responsibility over how we react. However, to call it a "test" implies that some higher power is throwing triggers our way, and the only way to make this painful process stop is to heal completely. But at times, thinking that only perfect healing will bring relief can feel overwhelming. After all, why should our experience of comfort and relief be tied to a standard of well-being that lies outside of present experience?

Fortunately, there is a way to find relief long before you achieve "complete healing". This involves becoming aware that you are creating your own triggers. This is not a statement of blame. It is simply true that once we have experienced a trauma, we often are drawn to situations that allow us to reenact that stress so we can come to understand: 1) why we did not respond fully in the first place, and 2) how we can respond fully in the present. Seen this way, triggers can be helpful, as they create learning experiences for us. But if they occur too often or too intensely, they are counterproductive, as the brain is not given a chance to turn off the stress response and process what has happened.

For example, in my 20's, I moved to the West Coast twice. The first time, it was to do an exchange study in California, and it was a great experience. When I returned to Ohio, I lived in 3 different places before moving back out, this time to Idaho. This time, the experience of being far from home with few resources was not an adventure - it was a trauma. When I came back home, I suddenly found it very difficult to stay in one place, and lived in 3 different places for the next few years. I came to realize that I was re-creating the trauma of moving so that I could understand my sense of uprootedness and become more grounded.

Once you become aware that you are unconsciously creating triggering situations, it is very important to take a stance of self-forgiveness and understanding. Once your brain has been traumatized, it is very normal to re-create situations as a way of learning. This can be a growth experience, especially when undertaken consciously. Consciousness of this process means knowing you can slow it down at any point. We all have an ideal level of stress at which we function best. This involves the right balance of comfort and challenge. For those who feel over-stimulated by life, it is really OK to follow your inner guidance and create comfort and stability. It is OK to avoid triggering situations. Just when you think you are not growing, you can think about creating a trigger and I assure you, it will happen! Another option is to create positive triggers, such as a spiritual practice, counseling, or therapeutic creative exercises. There is never a shortage of growth experiences. It's up to you to decide how often and intensely you want to experience them.

The Final Pieces

The final pieces fall into place: Presence. Soft allowing. Moving towards what's true and real, both within us and without.

No excuses this time.

We are willing to be changed. To go beyond what we said we were; beyond what it was once convenient for us to be. We give up those easy definitions, things which allowed us to think I'll be OK when.... No more excuses; we cannot be defined by what happened before, any more. 

The final pieces fall into place: Integrity, Responsibility. Knowing how to ask. Confidence in what we feel and know. Willingness to give, even when we're weary, for those we love. Moving into what is light and loving, both within and without.

We speak in light-splintering voices about our pain, about our growth. You could say it's a floating support group. You could say it's a bunch of narcissists. A sign of personal instability. You could say it's holy and shitty all at once.

Floating around, our hearts land on different people's shoulders like butterfly wings. We listen and let those wings flutter on when time has come. There is no need to become heavy in matters of the heart. Only better at listening.

What is the "goal" of mental health?

A misconception I've often heard about mental health is that our "goal" is to become totally self-aware, and by doing so, become the master of all that happens in the unconscious brain. This sort of amounts to a triumph of logic over feelings, which can, after all, feel like jack-in-the-boxes waiting to sabotage our best-laid plans. It can feel invigorating at first, but if not balanced with gentle allowing of the inner self, momentum can gets lost in a viscous cycle of of self-critique and backsliding.

This is one end of a spectrum, a belief held by people who tend to live more in their feelings and impulses. There is nothing inherently wrong with this way of being. The opposite belief, held by more logical people, is that mental health lies in "not over-thinking everything". But it's easy to see how the extreme of either one could be disastrous, as leading too much with the head can lead to repression of natural and valid feelings, and leading only with feelings can lead to carelessness.

The answer isn't in becoming fully, logically conscious of EVERYTHING. No matter how troublesome or sneaky feelings can be, they still serve a purpose. Any prolonged attempt to muzzle our feelings before they're out of the gate, will lead to them becoming even more insistent on bursting forth, this time heedless of warnings. The answer lies in letting our logical and feeling sides become friends. Letting that sneaky, often-selfish lower brain come out and have tea with the protective, logical side, and letting that logical side see that feelings aren't really as scruffy or incorrigible as once thought. Feelings actually have value that the thinking brain could never come up with on its own, but they are not the ultimate truth in life.

Mindfulness is a great way to introduce these sides to each other. Through things like meditation and yoga, you can develop a non-judgmental awareness of your "lower", reactive, intuitive self, and sense it as neither good nor bad, but simply there. Eventually, the higher brain can learn to trust feelings and allow them to shine, and the lower brain can learn to trust logic to balance raw energy with wise restraint. There is a way to be whole.

For information on therapy using mindfulness and yoga, email me at andreabussinger81@gmail.com.

Love Hormones: why find out why?

Recently I learned that when we fall in love, certain chemicals are released in the brain. You know that feeling you get when you meet somebody, feel elated when you see them, and think about them for days afterward? That's dopamine pumping up your reward circuits in the brain, making you want more. Oh yeah, and the feeling you get after the first date, then the second date, and the first time you sleep together: that feeling that you can do anything? More brain chemistry. Then after the first few months, when you start to get more interested in cuddling, declare your commitment to the person, and feel love growing in your heart? That's oxytocin, priming you to take the time-tested step of creating a lasting partnership.

This made a big impression on me, and I've wanted to write about, but wasn't sure what to say. It meant a lot to me because in my teens and 20's, I was addicted to love - not in the sense of going to extremes, but definitely in the sense that without the intrigue of a romantic relationship, I felt restless and bored. I now know that I was craving the hormone dopamine, which gave me a boost of concentration and energy whenever I met someone I liked. You see, without a love interest, life was... dull. (Fortunately, I've discovered that mindfulness practice makes my experience of life more shiny and energetic than it ever was, without the aid of romantic supplementation!)

So, yes, that's one angle from which to write about this. But for now, I'm with the question: why does it matter? I find it very interesting how we jump on scientific research about things that we already know intuitively. This applies for mindfulness and yoga, as well as love. We know it makes us happy, so does it really matter why?

The knowledge of how/why love makes us feel the way it does can be used for different purposes. For example, you could use it to make another person fall in love with you. Since we're all operating on a common set of hormones, which are triggered by the same things, it's entirely possible. Likewise, you can use it to manipulate yourself. For example, many articles suggest using this knowledge to "spice up" a long-term relationship with dopamine-enhancing activities, like exciting travel, eroticism, or new sex techniques. In essence, we can make ourselves "fall in love" all over again, with the same partner. This last suggestion, although it sounds good (and it is effective), makes me a little uncomfortable. After all, why is one form of emotional manipulation different from any other? We're still manipulating our hormones, and that seems a little strange to me.

But this is the era we live in. As we come to know more about the brain, we'll continue manipulating our emotional responses with that knowledge. To me, this is both exciting and frightening, since it represents tremendous power for personal growth, but also the temptation to control our experience, becoming even more removed from our raw reactions to life. After all, if you can make yourself fall in love with a good man, you can also make yourself fall in love with an abusive partner, or someone who isn't good for you. There is truth in our raw experience of life, and a time when those instincts should be honored. Similarly, it's possible that knowing too much about love chemistry could simply take the fun out of it! Perhaps the key lies in finding a balance between the two. There is power in self-knowledge, as it helps us make adjustments needed to get the most out of life. But there's also power in mindfully letting life (love) happen, and letting ourselves be part of it, feeling and responding to life (love) as we were born to do.

Navigating

Drop
that fear of breathing
let that net around your heart unfurl
Your body is trustworthy, see,
legs pumping to stay afloat.

Move through this blue-green
flowing substance
(God? Time? Love? All of the above -)
pumping through heart
lungs
belly
eyes and ears,
inside and out,
You belong here!

Legs swimming, confidently now,
the steady rhythm of waves
cleanses the mind
smooths the rough edges
and heals your skin
As you surrender
As you begin

Yoga: a quiet revolution

The other day, resting in child's pose after a busy week of meeting deadlines for paperwork, I had a memory of when I first started teaching people to listen to themselves. As a 26-year-old beginners' yoga teacher, I felt quite surprised that women in their 50's looked to me for a certain kind of authority. I took me awhile to figure out what it was - then I realized, they needed me to tell them two things: 1, to relax, or 2, to listen to their inner wisdom. They actually did not know how to do these things, or had forgotten.

It stunned me at the time, because I had never thought of these as valuable skills, or skills at all. But to these women - most of whom worked in higher education or administrative work - Monday night yoga was a precious time when they could "just let everything go". The rest of the time, they were meeting deadlines, fitting in, or simply performing. We all live in a culture where we're supposed to be told what to do - starting in elementary school, and into adulthood. These women viewed me as an authority figure, but I refused to be that. I knew I could teach them more by showing them how to teach themselves, even if that meant they might not need me anymore.

I love this about yoga. That when we do child's pose, we are actually subverting the dominant paradigm - when we put our heads to the earth and listen to our own heartbeat, we are overturning the teacher's authority in exchange for our own. In daily life, this can lead to subversive acts like... smiling at coworkers, breathing deeply at the desk, or no longer stealing paperclips because of a belief in asteya. It can lead to putting one's own well-being and sense of alive-ness over things like work and keeping up appearances - honoring the self as the core of all we do. 

Here's to yoga revolution - from the inside out!

Human creativity: what if

Human creativity is suffering from a collective un-groundedness that threatens us as it pushes beyond the limits of our resources. Our self-interested intelligence which has allowed us to control the external conditions and so grow the population, is the same thing that is going to destroy us. This won't be the first time humans have expanded into an advanced civilization, then collapsed. What if we are just part of a series of expansions and contractions of this human experiment? What if whatever guiding force is out there, be it God, or evolution, or life energy, is just running this experiment over and over to see what will happen?

Certainly as a human I want this experiment to be the successful one. We have, obviously, expanded beyond any other variation of humankind that we know. We have reached the moon and we are reaching out to the stars. We can control interior climate and treat cancer. We have a rich body of poetry, music, and artistic expressions that would delight any alien visitor or tourist from beyond. But will our tremendous expansion into new areas of our species creativity be enough to carry us into the future? Is our human experiment... good enough to last? I sure hope so.

In any case, I'm a firm believer that getting grounded is something we can all do for the planet. As we come into our bodies, we come to understand that life is an ecosystem - just as our bodies and souls need to survive, so every living thing does as well. We cannot disconnect from the earth. It is our own place.

Yoga and Creativity

When I practice mindful movement, I align with my creativity.

By aligning with the creative force, I heal myself and my world.

When I started doing yoga, I was 24 years old, a recent college grad waiting tables for a living. With my degree in English, I had trouble finding a better job in my small town. To make matters worse, I was having health issues related to celiac disease (undiagnosed at the time), so my physical and mental energy were at an all-time low. Yoga class was the first exercise I had ever enjoyed. It combined music and spirituality with an exercise style that was low-impact, calming, and intuitive. And, it helped me reconcile my need for a self-created life with the physical limitations of my illness.

As a young adult on the verge of creating a life, I was torn between two extremes: a high level of creativity, and on the other hand, my unconscious belief that life was hard and there was no room for the creative soul. As my celiac symptoms of fatigue and malnutrition started to develop, life kept feeling harder. Over the next 8 years, yoga gently helped me understand, once and for all, that... life is good. That it’s OK to want things, to create them, and then to feel satisfied. Life was not, as I worried, a struggle with my lower self, as it threatened to drag me into "dark cravings" for status, pleasure, and materialistic things. No... life was an invitation to tenderly embrace those needs, thereby arriving at compassion, freedom, and satisfaction. Look,  we live on the most pleasurable planet in our solar system, full of green plants and flowing rivers. It’s not all wonderful, of but it’s certainly OK to focus on the parts of it that are, because in doing so, we find our passion for living.

Yoga has not helped me transcend my lower chakras; rather, it’s helped me meet my lower-chakra needs gracefully. Contrary to myself at 24, inspired but stunted, I now feel empowered to reach for my needs, whether it’s a cuddle with my lover, an hour with my guitar, or a great job that pays well. And it’s not only self-serving things. My being also craves things like knowledge, self-respect, connection, and purpose. As “lower” needs are met, “higher” ones emerge. Yoga helps me identify them, and simultaneously to realize they are not me. Some degree of healthy detachment is necessary in order to achieve satisfaction in life.

According to chakra theory, the 2^nd chakra houses creativity. Its Sanskrit name translates to “One’s own place”, and it holds our desire, creativity, satisfaction, and pleasure. The 2^nd chakra represents the need to create a life tailored to our unique organism. Our own place. This place, which can include our partner, friends, home and career, becomes a jumping-off point for how we contribute to the world, and for our spiritual development. All of this relies on the creative force within us.

Because I had such a difficult time claiming this need for “my own place” in my 20’s, I have a good understanding of the part the 2^nd chakra plays in spiritual growth. When I got into yoga, I knew I wanted a spiritual life. But I didn’t understand that having a lifestyle was also important, and in its absence, my spirituality withered. From age 24 to 26, I worked for minimum wage and lived poor while studying yoga, reiki, and women’s health. While my friends were establishing their careers, I was distancing myself from the world, and becoming pretty unhappy in the process. After landing my first salaried job at 28, I allowed myself to explore my long-neglected interest in fashion, and decorated my home the way I wanted. It was there, in the little brick cottage I rented, that I found “my own place” – amongst the tigerlilies, wild strawberries, and long afternoons decorating the sun-dappled living room. It was there that I forgot my spirituality, and there I claimed it again, this time with my whole self. I made room for myself as a songwriter, fashionista, chocolate addict, and eventually, a wife to my husband. None of this made me any less interested in spiritual practice. As I fulfilled these yearnings, I felt free, alive, and satisfied.

Yoga also helped me stabilize my health. In a way, the body is also “one's own place”, since it is formed by the creative energy of prana. Yoga postures are designed to harmonize the energy body, which helps physical health as well. For me, this could not happen without mindfulness. Through realizing that my body is not me, I've awakened to my body as a creature: a needy creature, but still lovable! This makes me more willing to relax into my prana, bringing health and energy.

In Western culture, our relationship to the life force isn't ideal. We seem bent on taking in as much as we can in terms of material goods, calories, and stimulation, while neglecting the need to care for bodies. While healthcare professionals try to educate us about healthy habits, we struggle to maintain a desire to be healthy, constantly "falling off the wagon". I think this could all be rooted in our unhealthy attachment to the material world. Our obsession with the physical, external aspects of ourselves keeps our core insecurity at bay, but prevents us from really enjoying life. Yoga, like any mindful practice, helps us become aware of ourselves as creators. In the stillness that follows mindful movement, we find our being, which is a fountain of inner satisfaction. Then we can begin to create boldly. We can begin to consider, not how we can ask more of the world, but what can we give? What do we want to see on this big canvas?

~

This piece relies on ideas from Joseph LePage in the Integrative Yoga Therapy (2004) Teacher Training Manual.

Healthy Activities for the Heart Chakra

I've been wanting to post some of the chakra healing tips I compiled for Chakra Yoga last year. And since it happens to be Valentine's Day, I thought I'd focus on the heart!

When I teach Chakra Yoga classes, I always have fun with this one because the heart is just a huge part of our daily existence, and plays an important role in the chakra system as well.. Basically, it's the connection between the lower chakras and the upper chakras, the place where self-interest meets the more transcendent aspects of equanimity, compassion, insight, vision, and one-ness. Until the lower chakra's needs are met, it is difficult to open the heart. But when the heart is open, it feeds the entire system.

• Backbends! Oooh yeah, a little Camel, or Reclining Butterfly, and you'll be bathing in heart prana.
• Triangle Pose - although it engages the whole body, Triangle relies on having an open chest, and gives you the feeling of radiating outward from your heart. If you feel like taking your stability up to the next level, float on up to balancing Half Moon, with the shoulders relaxed.
• Selfless giving to others.
• Receiving without guilt
• Honest communication
• Delicious food, candles and soft music relax the brain, opening you up for connection.
• Self-appreciation. Thank yourself for something you've done today. 
• Express appreciation to loved ones; skip the complaints. 

Other therapeutic things

• Spices: cinnamon
• Essential oils: Rose, jasmine. 
• Metta meditation or gratitude practice.

Life is more colorful, soft, and energized when the heart is open. Wishing you a beautiful Valentine's Day!

Bessel van der Kolk is my hero - and yoga is my medicine

For all my therapy geek friends (you know who you are): have you heard of Bessel van der Kolk, a Dutch psychiatrist who's doing research on things like yoga and EMDR? If not, go look him up. You won't be disappointed.

I spend 8 hours on Tuesday with Dr. van der Kolk in a live webcast from Hawaii. The topic was "Trauma, Attachment and Neuroscience." Sounds interesting, huh? Basically, the seminar delved into how trauma  re-wires the brain and the way we relate to the world. It's not so much that trauma leaves an imprint of a certain memory in our minds; rather, it makes us less able to live happily in the present. It does this by changing our brain: everything from the brain stem (breathing, sleeping, eating), to the thalamus (interpretations of the body), amygdala (emotional arousal and motivation), and frontal cortex (thinking). Dr. van der Kolk explained that trauma treatment must ALWAYS address the body, because the lower brain and limbic system are ALWAYS affected. Too often, "Western European" therapies focuses only on the frontal cortex (ahem, "cognitive therapy"), and ignore the body. (Dr. van der Kolk made no effort to conceal his frustration that body therapies are not acknowledged for their mental health benefits.)

Dr. van der Kolk conducts research at the Trauma Center at JRI in Massachusetts. He's gotten good results wth using yoga, EMDR, and other body-based therapies, because these treatments teach people how to self-regulate, and promote integration of the upper and lower brain. He also recommends drama therapy, t'ai chi, drum circles, and anything that involves a rhythmic interaction between people. One of my favorite clips was of a 10-year-old boy who was throwing a ball around with an occupational therapist. His mother arrived, and started chatting about her own problems. The boy threw her the ball; she caught it, threw it back, but COMPLETELY missed the boy. This happened 3 or 4 times; each time she threw the ball to the same place, and each time it missed the boy's waiting arms. Suddenly he yelled, "STOP THROWING IT OVER THERE!" As the OT helped the mother and boy play catch with each other, Dr. van der Kolk explained how being "in tune" with people is one of the most basic joys of life, since we are hardwired for social interaction. This demonstration showed how a simple activity like playing catch could make a family feel cohesive again. Just imagine how doing yoga, dance, or making music together can help you feel more "in sync" with humanity!

Among other things, this seminar powerfully confirmed the effect of yoga on the brain. Since I re-started my daily yoga practice (only 4 weeks ago), I've noticed changes in how I perceive things. The other day I was napping on the couch, and suddenly I felt viscerally connected to the colors and shapes around me; I was transported back to a summer's day when I was very young, and the green grass and the taste of lemonade were fresh and new to my senses. I find it easier to relax, even when I don't feel well. I went to a meeting at my church, and noticed I was able to take in every detail of the conversation effortlessly. The next day, the committee chair asked me to proofread the minutes; I thought, wow, that's never happened! And last but not least, I laugh more. Something about yoga is helping me connect with my environment. I'm just waiting to see how this body-centered, mindfulness practice will continue to transform the way I live, breathe, and think. Do you have a story about how mindfulness practice has changed your life?

Reasons to avoid yoga today

1) I'd rather eat chocolate and watch The Princess Bride (/insert favorite movie_____) for the 1000th time.

2) I don't want to transcend my feelings, or undergo brain re-writes. I just wanna be.

3) My body hurts, and I don't feel like dealing with that, so I'm gonna lay around instead.

4) I don't feel like thinking about my alignment or core stability today. Maybe I'll dance instead.

5) I found this really good book (relationship/hobby/pursuit). I'ma do that instead.

I've been doing yoga for 10 years, and discipline has been my #1 obstacle. In fact, I'm sure I have more reasons not to, than reasons to do yoga. The reasons are simple: clarity, peace, strength, compassion. If you want these, do yoga. But there are a million reasons why you might not want these, not today, not right now. Your brain is capable of infinite excuses, oh yes, quite capable.

But are they excuses? Is it really "bad" to not do yoga every single day? It's a tricky question. In the last 4 weeks, I've done yoga every single day. It's not the first time I've had a disciplined streak, and I can't say how long it'll last. Growth happens in cycles, not lines, after all. Although I'm reaping the mental and physical benefits of my practice now, I think in some way the undisciplined times are important too.

When I think about change from the brain's perspective - the webs of neural synapses, the interaction between the amygdala and the cortex, all these biological aspects of self - I think, wow, of course it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and I also wonder which levels of my brain are talking to each other, how. For example, does my amygdala somehow say, "hey, smarty-pants, slow down, I've got stuff to process up in here"? When we "release emotions", it is important to respect that they don't always get processed on same-day express. Sometimes a break is needed, lest you become so sick of it that you give up entirely. If facing the mat, or meditation, or whatever you practice, seems like an insurmountable feat, try following your instincts. Maybe craving chocolate is your brain's way of pacing your race toward change. Maybe there is no "right" pace.