The tantra of Christmas

There are plenty of holidays through the year, but for some reason, Christmas seems to be especially full of love, rejuvenation, and wonder. Why? My theory is that Christmas is the only time of year we have permission to fully enjoy ourselves. We get drunk on our senses – the lights, the bright reds and golds, fluffy pastries, decadent chocolates and savory meats beckon us to lose ourselves in the “magic of the season”. But really, isn’t life full of magic all the time? Maybe it’s just that we rarely pause long enough to enjoy it.

While many happy feelings are associated with Christmas, it's notoriously a good time for romance. We can also feel more love for our parents, children, friends, and even strangers at this time. The change is so noticeable that we may wonder, why can’t we be like this all year round? In light of a few things I've learned about neurology, and a desire for  more love in my life, I thought I'd share my thoughts.

So what makes Christmas so romantic? According to neurology, when we first fall in love, our brains release a ton of dopamine. Dopamine is a neurochemical associated with reward: sexual attraction, gambling, drugs, and exercise can all boost dopamine levels. Dopamine is also associated with confidence, motivation, and energy, which explains that "top-of-the-world" feeling of falling in love. It’s evolution's way of encouraging us to find a mate. Oxytocin, which increases later in the relationship, is evolution's way of encouraging us to settle down and raise children. It's also dubbed the “cuddle hormone”, and since there's not much else to do in December, this makes Christmas a great time for bonding, whether you're just getting to know each other or are long-time partners.

Given that Christmas is filled with rewards like shiny presents and good food, and activities like cuddling and relaxing with loved ones, it's possible that we're bathed in dopamine and oxytocin the whole time. In a sort of tantric way, perhaps this is part of the magic of Christmas. No matter what hormone it might be caused by, consciously enjoying pleasure uplifts our energy. And, true to tantra, this may be what makes us more apt to smile at strangers, give to charity, and treat others with more kindness. Maybe this is what makes Christmas "the most wonderful time of the year."

I’ve found that after Christmas, I often feel full of energy and start planning for the coming year. (This year, I brainstormed ways to green my home.) The whole “New Years’ Resolution” thing is an example of the tendency to start new projects when  we're feeling refreshed. But if we fizzle out a few months later, we need to examine if pleasure and connection are enough a part of our lives throughout the year. 

Christmas is a time when we really enjoy ourselves. We almost worship abundance, with more conscious intent than usual. Through giving gifts to others, we feel just as uplifted as by enjoying them ourselves. We create beautiful decorations, music, cards, and parties, and we slow down enough to enjoy them. But what if Christmas came in February? Personally, I’d drape my house in violet and pink cloth, make coconut cake to resemble snow, and invite all my friends over to sing our favorite spiritual songs and trade seed packets. How would you keep the magic alive all year round?