Healthy Activities for the Heart Chakra

I've been wanting to post some of the chakra healing tips I compiled for Chakra Yoga last year. And since it happens to be Valentine's Day, I thought I'd focus on the heart!

When I teach Chakra Yoga classes, I always have fun with this one because the heart is just a huge part of our daily existence, and plays an important role in the chakra system as well.. Basically, it's the connection between the lower chakras and the upper chakras, the place where self-interest meets the more transcendent aspects of equanimity, compassion, insight, vision, and one-ness. Until the lower chakra's needs are met, it is difficult to open the heart. But when the heart is open, it feeds the entire system.

• Backbends! Oooh yeah, a little Camel, or Reclining Butterfly, and you'll be bathing in heart prana.
• Triangle Pose - although it engages the whole body, Triangle relies on having an open chest, and gives you the feeling of radiating outward from your heart. If you feel like taking your stability up to the next level, float on up to balancing Half Moon, with the shoulders relaxed.
• Selfless giving to others.
• Receiving without guilt
• Honest communication
• Delicious food, candles and soft music relax the brain, opening you up for connection.
• Self-appreciation. Thank yourself for something you've done today. 
• Express appreciation to loved ones; skip the complaints. 

Other therapeutic things

• Spices: cinnamon
• Essential oils: Rose, jasmine. 
• Metta meditation or gratitude practice.

Life is more colorful, soft, and energized when the heart is open. Wishing you a beautiful Valentine's Day!

Bessel van der Kolk is my hero - and yoga is my medicine

For all my therapy geek friends (you know who you are): have you heard of Bessel van der Kolk, a Dutch psychiatrist who's doing research on things like yoga and EMDR? If not, go look him up. You won't be disappointed.

I spend 8 hours on Tuesday with Dr. van der Kolk in a live webcast from Hawaii. The topic was "Trauma, Attachment and Neuroscience." Sounds interesting, huh? Basically, the seminar delved into how trauma  re-wires the brain and the way we relate to the world. It's not so much that trauma leaves an imprint of a certain memory in our minds; rather, it makes us less able to live happily in the present. It does this by changing our brain: everything from the brain stem (breathing, sleeping, eating), to the thalamus (interpretations of the body), amygdala (emotional arousal and motivation), and frontal cortex (thinking). Dr. van der Kolk explained that trauma treatment must ALWAYS address the body, because the lower brain and limbic system are ALWAYS affected. Too often, "Western European" therapies focuses only on the frontal cortex (ahem, "cognitive therapy"), and ignore the body. (Dr. van der Kolk made no effort to conceal his frustration that body therapies are not acknowledged for their mental health benefits.)

Dr. van der Kolk conducts research at the Trauma Center at JRI in Massachusetts. He's gotten good results wth using yoga, EMDR, and other body-based therapies, because these treatments teach people how to self-regulate, and promote integration of the upper and lower brain. He also recommends drama therapy, t'ai chi, drum circles, and anything that involves a rhythmic interaction between people. One of my favorite clips was of a 10-year-old boy who was throwing a ball around with an occupational therapist. His mother arrived, and started chatting about her own problems. The boy threw her the ball; she caught it, threw it back, but COMPLETELY missed the boy. This happened 3 or 4 times; each time she threw the ball to the same place, and each time it missed the boy's waiting arms. Suddenly he yelled, "STOP THROWING IT OVER THERE!" As the OT helped the mother and boy play catch with each other, Dr. van der Kolk explained how being "in tune" with people is one of the most basic joys of life, since we are hardwired for social interaction. This demonstration showed how a simple activity like playing catch could make a family feel cohesive again. Just imagine how doing yoga, dance, or making music together can help you feel more "in sync" with humanity!

Among other things, this seminar powerfully confirmed the effect of yoga on the brain. Since I re-started my daily yoga practice (only 4 weeks ago), I've noticed changes in how I perceive things. The other day I was napping on the couch, and suddenly I felt viscerally connected to the colors and shapes around me; I was transported back to a summer's day when I was very young, and the green grass and the taste of lemonade were fresh and new to my senses. I find it easier to relax, even when I don't feel well. I went to a meeting at my church, and noticed I was able to take in every detail of the conversation effortlessly. The next day, the committee chair asked me to proofread the minutes; I thought, wow, that's never happened! And last but not least, I laugh more. Something about yoga is helping me connect with my environment. I'm just waiting to see how this body-centered, mindfulness practice will continue to transform the way I live, breathe, and think. Do you have a story about how mindfulness practice has changed your life?

Reasons to avoid yoga today

1) I'd rather eat chocolate and watch The Princess Bride (/insert favorite movie_____) for the 1000th time.

2) I don't want to transcend my feelings, or undergo brain re-writes. I just wanna be.

3) My body hurts, and I don't feel like dealing with that, so I'm gonna lay around instead.

4) I don't feel like thinking about my alignment or core stability today. Maybe I'll dance instead.

5) I found this really good book (relationship/hobby/pursuit). I'ma do that instead.

I've been doing yoga for 10 years, and discipline has been my #1 obstacle. In fact, I'm sure I have more reasons not to, than reasons to do yoga. The reasons are simple: clarity, peace, strength, compassion. If you want these, do yoga. But there are a million reasons why you might not want these, not today, not right now. Your brain is capable of infinite excuses, oh yes, quite capable.

But are they excuses? Is it really "bad" to not do yoga every single day? It's a tricky question. In the last 4 weeks, I've done yoga every single day. It's not the first time I've had a disciplined streak, and I can't say how long it'll last. Growth happens in cycles, not lines, after all. Although I'm reaping the mental and physical benefits of my practice now, I think in some way the undisciplined times are important too.

When I think about change from the brain's perspective - the webs of neural synapses, the interaction between the amygdala and the cortex, all these biological aspects of self - I think, wow, of course it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and I also wonder which levels of my brain are talking to each other, how. For example, does my amygdala somehow say, "hey, smarty-pants, slow down, I've got stuff to process up in here"? When we "release emotions", it is important to respect that they don't always get processed on same-day express. Sometimes a break is needed, lest you become so sick of it that you give up entirely. If facing the mat, or meditation, or whatever you practice, seems like an insurmountable feat, try following your instincts. Maybe craving chocolate is your brain's way of pacing your race toward change. Maybe there is no "right" pace. 

Chakras and Personal Power: naming and claiming relational needs

Like most people, you've probably heard of the 7 chakras - energy centers that connect to our physical, mental, and emotional selves. If not, this Anodea Judith website is a good primer. I was introduced to chakras in 2005 when I took the IYT 200-hour yoga teacher training. At the time I was a waitress, so the 2-week yoga intensive in the Pennsylvania mountains felt refreshing, to say the least. Our teachers taught us about the 5 koshas, or layers of being, that are affected by yoga practice. They taught us the 8 paths of yoga and how hatha yoga is about balancing energy through physical movement. And they taught us how the chakras are directly affected by yoga postures and techniques.

After the intensive, I had to teach a class for my internship, and I decided to base it around the chakras. Then in 2008, after several months of researching the chakras, I presented a Chakra Yoga series which ran for about a year. After taking a few years off to focus on my counseling career, I ran the class again from 2012-2013 at Lifesource Yoga. I also incorporated chakras into my mental health counseling with a few clients, since I understood the relationship between childhood development, psychology, and the chakras. For example, for a client who tended to neglect his/her physical health, we would explore early childhood experiences through the lens of the first chakra in order to normalize and conceptualize the experience.

Today I'm going to focus on how to use chakras as a vehicle for personal power. The very act of understanding your energy system is a step toward personal power. This is because chakras are an expression of our capacity to give to, and receive from the world.

Western psychology, in its 120 years or so, has had a huge task, which is undoing the myth of the individual and replacing it with healthy modes of relating. Since we live in a patriarchal society, masculinity is held up as a superior mode of being, and is defined by self-reliance and independence from relationship. Therefore, men and women who have relational needs (which is basically everyone) have been historically shamed and prompted to "grow up", "pull yourself up by your bootstraps", or otherwise become independent from our need for external approval. While it is not a bad idea to be free from external approval - after all, this need can feel like a straitjacket - psychology has raised excellent questions, such as: "if one's developmental needs are not met, how can one become independent?" "How can a therapist, through transference, assist someone in meeting those developmental needs?" and "Should independence really be the gold standard of mental health?"

Furthermore, as a result of the emphasis on independence, there is a lack of knowledge of healthy interdependence, or relationship skills. What exactly is a healthy relationship? Psychology has been busy answering this question, especially since the 1970's, as seen in the huge explosion of self-help books on the topic. "Personal power", a concept from feminist psychology, is one way to answer the question. This kind of power has nothing to do with dominating/forcing your way through life, but rather, invites you to take full responsibility for your own feelings, needs and actions, as a path to success, fulfillment, and even social change.

The full implications of this are mind-boggling. Good thing for me, I'm just going to focus on its relationship aspect! Rather than expecting others to make us happy, which leads to fear, grasping, and control, with personal power we take responsibility for our needs and feelings. This doesn't mean we give up hope of others meeting our needs, it just means that we ask them to, rather than expect them to. And from this place of awareness without expectations, we feel more empowered, more whole.

Enter the chakras: your guide to your emotional, sexual, spiritual and physical needs. Each chakra is a center of both giving and receiving. The heart chakra is where we experience needing love; it is also where we experience feeling joyful and wanting to give. Sensations in the heart chakra of tightness or deadness may signify a need for love, since the need for love is one of the scariest things to feel (in our culture). Those who have the most satisfying relationships are often those who acknowledge their need for love just as well as they give it. In obvious ways, the same is true for the 1st chakra: when one's physical needs are met, one is more able to do physical work. As for the 2nd chakra, sexual energy flows in and out of it: by opening to pleasure, the energy increases, and we feel moved to give pleasure in return. Or, lower-chakra energy can be channeled into higher chakras, which is why we need holidays at the beach. :)

Core needs of each chakra
1st: safety, health.  Sign of imbalance: anxiety, fatigue
2nd: pleasure   Sign of imbalance: tension, anhedonia, addiction
3rd: mastery, challenge   Sign of imbalance: low self-confidence, boredom, apathy
4th: love, connection   Sign of imbalance: chest tightness, depression
5th: integration ("processing time"), purpose.  Sign of imbalance: sore throat, impatience, overwhelm
6th: knowledge   Sign of imbalance: assumptions, prejudices, pessimism
7th: spirituality   Sign of imbalance: inaccurate perceptions of self, lack of faith   

By understanding the needs associated with each chakra, you are essentially taking a giant first step toward personal power. You take responsibility for the fact that you have needs, rather than expecting others to read your mind, or give you permission to need. Unfortunately, because of the myth of the individual, the belief persists that having needs is somehow wrong, which makes it more difficult to claim personal power. I can't tell you how often this would come up in my counseling work with couples; and guys, I'm not blaming you for this, but it was often the men who lacked that sense of empowerment to get their needs met. Actually, I think this fact is largely responsible for the lack of emotional competency in men (which is evolving, of course): that men tend to be under a lot of pressure to not have needs. Whoever you are, and whatever your level of self-awareness, it is wonderful to remember that it's OK to have needs, and continue fine-tuning your ability to feel and name them. The more we grow in this capacity, the easier it will be to find a healthy interdependence between ourselves, the world, and the people we love.

How to Optimize your Hormone Cycle

So, yeah, this is for the ladies: Part 3 of a series on the female hormone cycle. 

Step 1. Notice changes in your cycle. Here are some suggestions:

1. Use your calendar. I’ve been charting my periods on my home calendar for years. I also chart ovulation, since that is a good indicator of when exactly my period will come (12-14 days later, for almost everyone). Also I feel like ovulation is kind of a special occasion, because it tells me I’m capable of creating life.

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-When-You-Are-Ovulating

2. Chart your cycles. Heard that one before, eh? Might be ‘cause it’s a good idea. But you don’t have to use it just to for fertility, as is commonly seen in the media. You can make a home-made calendar just for charting your moods, dreams, cravings, and other changes through your hormone cycle. Or, you can use an electronic calendar on gmail, phone/tablet, or computer.

3. Create a word processor document for each phase of the cycle: “Menstrual”, “follicular”, “ovulation” and “luteal/pre-menstrual” If you don't like the way these sound, you can use other names. I’ve heard the menstrual phase called “moontime”, “bleeding”, or you could try something more playful: “Aunt Flo’s visit- remember to make brownies!”. Use the word documents to keep track of changes in your mood, dreams, food cravings, or whatever you want in each phase. You can look back on these when you need inspiration, or use it to keep track of emotional and physical symptoms/changes.  

Step 2: Optimize your life based on what you notice. 

Once you start noticing how you’re feeling, what foods and activities you crave, during each phase, the next logical step is to optimize your life so you can do those things. As we know, life runs smoothly when we do the things our body/energy systems naturally ask of us. (The asking, of course, can be anything from a whisper to a furious kick!)

Physically, Dr. Christiane Northrup's Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom  (1998) has some marvelous tips for using diet and exercise to regulate hormones and alleviate cycle discomfort. (I highly recommend dropping the $18 for this book; it has been a resource to me for 12 years, and it clearly explains the mind-body connection for women.) Once you begin to learn what foods and herbs help alleviate cramps, PMS, or other imbalances for you, you can easily do an “elimination diet” type experiment. For example, in the book, Dr. Northrup recommends eliminating red meat and egg yolks for cramps, and supplementing with calcium-rich foods. For fatigue during menstruation, you can see if supplementing with iron-rich foods might help, or if your system just needs rest.

Emotionally, there are as many ways for the hormone system to interact with your neurobiology as there are fertile women in the world. This is why it is crucial for you to familiarize yourself with the language of your unique hormone cycle. When you begin to ask your body what it needs, instead of telling it what it should do for you, you will unlock your body's energy. You may find hidden talents that you never knew you had. Your relationships will almost certainly improve.

You may find this process brings up strong emotions of fear, anger, or sadness that you didn't know were there. As women, our relationship with our bodies may be tainted with cultural beliefs about weakness, "dirtiness", or shame. Lara Owen's (1993) book Her Blood is Gold: Awakening to the Wisdom of Menstruation is a powerful resource for looking at those beliefs, exploring healthier alternatives, and honoring your body's own wisdom. If you find this a difficult process, it is certainly OK to seek professional counseling, support groups, or simply reach out to female friends. The good news is that more and more of us are healing and our wisdom and support is popping up everywhere. Now is the time for women to heal; now is the time for us to blossom. 

I’ll be posting ideas for optimizing each phase of the cycle. As for now, reader, I’ll leave you to your wild and precious imagination.  :)